Street sales

Sometimes when you are out shopping you have to weave in and out of people on the street trying to sell you something, or ask you to support a charity or take out a new credit card.  We have all been there - desperately trying to avoid eye contact so they don't have an opportunity to strike up a conversation.

I found myself in that position today, and I was doing rather well at avoiding all manner of salespeople.  Walking into a shopping centre I saw two women ahead of me being accosted by someone at one of those mobile-shop-cart things they put in the middle of shopping malls.  I started to take evasive action until I realised the stall was selling makeup. Surely safe enough for a man to walk straight past.

Wrong.

"Is there a woman in your life that would like makeup?" she asked.

"No, thank you." I replied, without slowing down.

"Girlfriend? Sister? Mother?" she tried, unable to believe that I do not have any women in my life who would like makeup!

You see my response might be misleading, but the original question was poorly crafted.  There are any number of women in my life who like makeup.  I can't however think of a single one of them who would like makeup from me, purchased at some random stall.  The only conceivable circumstance under which makeup from me would be acceptable would be if I was sent out with clear instructions.  Impulse buys are not likely to be successful.

"No." I said politely but firmly, still walking on.

Desperate to make that sale, but not defeated, the plucky saleswoman tried one more category of woman in my life who might want some makeup;

"Mistress?"